The World According to Johnny Action Space Punk

This blog accepts NO corporate money

2005-01-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

No bling, no under the table payments, no hush money, no corporate sponsored travel 'fact finding' missions, no nuthin.

There, now THAT is a disclaimer you can live with....

Okay, this has to stop, it's not cute anymore, it's SAD

2005-01-18T10:07:00.000-08:00

You've seen it now a million times. Someone at a football game emploring the home 11 to make a defensive stand with the giant cardboard letter 'D' and then a cardboard or wooden picket fence. "See, it says D-Fence, we're sure to stop them now, look, it's clever spirit on display!!"

No, it's not, it's hackneyed, 20 years from being original and LAME. This shit HAS TO STOP NOW. People should be ejected from stadiums for even ATTEMPTING to do this. Who knows, the picket fence could be used to deliver a poisonous RICIN attack. I'm just saying....

Ass clowns

I am a PROUD American and I vote Republican!

2004-12-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

I go to church, I contact the FCC when something I might not like appears on my television. I have two SUV's for taking my kids to soccer and football. I have two small American flags on my two SUV's and of course I have a yellow 'Support our Troops' ribbons on my vehicles. I voted for Bush-Cheney proudly. I support the war in Iraq because they had nuclear weapons and WMD's to use on us like FOX News said.

The troops there dying is sad but ther is NO WAY I am enlisting to fight my president's war. My kids shouldn't have to go either. This is America, let the poor kids go defend my consumption. My kids should enjoy a proper 4 year college education while less savory economic-types should enlist. My kids won't go if drafted either, they shouldn't have to fight. They're Republicans and that kind of sacrifice is beyond my comprehension....

"Our budget will run a deficit that will be small and short term."--George W. Bush 2002

2004-11-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

Well I'm sure this will be shrugged off by Republican apologists as just the continuing effects of 9/11 (Reports show the total 9/11 bill to be only 7 billion dollars) and wars on two fronts (one actually necessary!).
They don't mention the grossly underreported multi-trillion dollar tax cuts given now FOUR times to the economic upper crust, defecit spending and tax cuts DURING a war. Republicans again this week raised the debt ceiling 800 billion (it's just so very strange they didn't mention any of this BEFORE the election).

Johnny Action Space Punk, is it true we can cut taxes during a war, give the rich all the tax cuts, spend money like Arab teenagers and STILL have a great economy?
Johnny says, let's ask the experts;

The Congressional Budget Office estimates that President Bush's proposed 2005 budget would nearly double our current debt to about $14.5 trillion by 2014.
Bill Clinton left office with a 127 billion dollar SURPLUS (MORE than enough to cover the horrors of 9/11 but then again, remember, Republicans tell us if you let Democrats run the economy, they'll ruin it).
Yes, citizens, we HAVE heard of this economic plan before and it was called 'Voodoo Economics" back then in 1980. You wanna know who called it that? George H.W. Bush, 41st President and father of the current President...

You could spend millions on a website...

2004-11-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

...and not have as much to say as this one does on the cheap. Give yourself a half hour to go through it. Put your serious face on. She tells a very sad incredible story and catalogs her travels north of Kiev, into the 'dead zone'. As a soundtrack I would suggest Run Lola Run, especially the song 'Casino'.

Kiddofspeed.com, yes www

Red States capitulate--"We're DOOMED, we're DOOMED"

2004-11-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

The red states have thrown in the towel and cast their lot with the Dr. Smith's of the world. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney ran on ONE issue, let's not be mistaken. They were the only ones capable and with the know how to keep Americans safe. Cheney in fact said America would be "hit again if voters make the wrong choice on November 2nd". 51% of Americans on November 2nd voted to run behind mommy's skirt and hide behind her. The other 48 % stood tall and said the hell with this. Americans historically stand up for themselves, don't quake in their boots in the face of danger and go on about their daily business safe in the thought that there are more than TWO people in America who can and want to kep it safe from terror attacks. We don't let it rule our lives to the point of it affecting our most precious birthright.

By the way red states, it seems funny (and now bordering on hypocritical) that you used your votes like you were on Fear Factor and the tragedies of September 11th happened in BLUE states. Not one plane took off from or crashed in a red state and yet the blue states aren't the ones cowering in fear. The people who actually LIVE in the cities and states that are the terrorists targets realize the stupidity of the President's Iraq folly made THEM more likely to be attacked, but what would you care, what's the terror color code in Wichita? Duck all you reddies in Helena Montana, Osama has his eye on you.

Cornbutt Nebraska is on pink alert tonight as firecrackers were found in the posession of a local youth.

Evangelicals--The REAL American Taliban

2004-11-12T07:28:00.000-08:00

A suburban American school board found itself in court yesterday after it tried to placate Christian fundamentalist parents by placing a sticker on its science textbooks saying evolution was "a theory, not a fact".

Atlanta's Cobb County school board, the second largest board in Georgia, added the sticker two years ago after a 2,300 strong petition attacked the presentation of "Darwinism unchallenged". Some parents wanted creationism - the theory that God created humans according to the Bible version - to be taught alongside evolution.

Let's see, the religious fanatics (Hey it's happening in Georgia, Texas and Tennessee CURRENTLY) demand that centuries of hard science FACT be marginalized in favor of putting creationism and evolution on the same factual plain. Now, they want evolution marginalized even more, why? "It's not proved, yet" Hmmm, that would make creationism what? The invisible man in the sky who sees everything, and his infallible carpenter son who turned water into wine, fed the masses with a couple loafs of bread and few bluegills, who actually was conceived via virgin birth, was killed and then rose from the dead, as the basis of all things on earth is SO much more rooted in fact. Like Jimmy Fallon says, if the red state freaks have their way, soon dinosaurs will be known as 'Jesus Horses'...

Johnny Action Space Punk thinks these sorts of people serve to drag America down and should be put to sleep....Let's make sure the red states all get the 'special' flu shots this year.

Please turn to page 72...

2004-11-08T17:30:00.000-08:00

...in Land of Truth and Liberty

Boy howdy how the election changed the US map. Frankly, I'm surprised.

An oldie but a goodie

2004-11-04T13:52:00.001-08:00

How I miss her voice, it was easy like a country morning...
A voice soft and easy, like an engine with no oil |

This is a Romeo fox trot shall we dance?

2004-11-04T09:08:00.000-08:00

Was it cooincidence Karl Rove made sure that states that were considered battleground all had anti-gay marriage propsals on them? It certainly brought out the christian evangelicals to vote in larger numbers when there is red meat on the ballot. Poll after poll showed Americans didn't like gay marriage, most of these same people hear the word gay in a sentence and cover their ears and begin quoting scripture, so there were the propsals lying in wait to trip up Kerry and the Democrats.

If Democrats are interested in a little payback, remember, Americans SUPPORT stem cell research by the same margins they don't like gay anything.

Let's make sure in the mid-term elections that wherever there could be a house seat in a Republican area that is up for grabs, the issue of stem cell research is right there with them on that ballot....

Take this issue forward and beat Republicans about the head and neck with it.

We're cutting you off

2004-11-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

If you REALLY want some changes
And you want to strike at the heart of what drives America, banding together and incorporating the 'Woody Hayes' model of everyone in the Blue States...

Just what IS the Woody Hayes model? Legend has it the legendary Ohio State coach was on his way home from a recruiting trip in Michigan. Woody's car ran out of gas on US 23 a couple miles from the Ohio border. Rather than help the Michigan economy by getting gas here, Woody pushed his car two miles to Ohio to fill up there.

Now, here's how YOU can incorporate this game plan...

Tell the good people at Disney World why you won't be bringing your family there and spending a few thousand dollars in Florida. Write and tell the Miami tourist board why you won't be coming there for Christmas break. Leave Mardi Gras in New Orleans to the Republicans and let them have a joyless time on Bourbon Street (face facts, Liberals party better). Write the people who run tours of the Grand Canyon why you won't visit. Tell the Chamber of Commerce in Atlanta why you won't spend money there. Whenever you write to a destination spot, CC the local or state Chamber of Commerce. If enough blue state consumers (we're talking a concerted effort of thousands and hopefully tens of thousands) start hurting the wallets of these red states and their tax bases begin to hurt, they might just HAVE to wake up and realize the economy and their impending loss of jobs is far more important an issue when talked about than gay marriage.

It has to be concerted, it has to be steadfast and it each of us has to be in it for the long haul, no more ordering products online from red state vendors, no more NOTHING for them from us.

If they want to drag America down election after election basing their votes mainly on morals, we shall teach them about the real America and the new color on our election map---green!

Okay people, we need to talk

2004-09-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone gather around me and be quiet because we need to discuss something. Wait, everyone gather around me EXCEPT the state of Florida, Floridians, or anything to do with Florida.

You wait over there. Shoo.

Okay, we've ALL got an election coming up and we all have time in our other 49 states to put this proposal on our state ballots to ammend our constitutions

It is hereby proposed and deemed necessary that Florida be kicked out of the United States of America. You tried hard, we had some laughs but you have got to go. First off, President George W. Bush will after the latest hurricane have alotted 25 BILLION dollars in aid to Florida for just sitting there like a jackass in a hail storm and taking it. I mean, when was they last time you, Nebraska got 25 billion for anything? I see you nodding your heads. We pay into this pool and who sucks us dry every year? Florida. Wisconsin, how much of this FEMA money do you get? California's good enough to only have bad earthquakes every 10-15 years. Idaho, put that gun down and ask yourself, why does George W's BROTHER get such good service?

Which brings us to point two:

Besides hurricanes, Florida utterly screwed over a nation by not getting their voting thing together. One way then the next, one way then back. The Secretary of State Katherine Harris RAN George W's campaign from her official office. NICE ethics. Jeb has a wife who bought large quantities of clothing abroad and then tried to sneak them back duty free. His drug addled daughter whom Johnny hopes gets her act together was given more chances than Unkie George was giving black kids in Texas to be sure. This state is political hell on the rest of us.

Ah, who can forget Elian Gonzalez. The story that did so much for so many and turned local unemployed yokels into a reality television soap.

Now, think about it, I got some dawgs in Nevada who say they can saw it off Georgia and Mississippi and Alabama will just build walls. The cost of this 'relocation' project would be 3 billion less than what we're going to pay them by Thanksgiving if this keeps up.

Hey look, I have relatives in Florida too but you can still go there. It'll be like Cuba complete with it's tin horn dictator governor but you can actually come and go as you please.

Florida, you can look at it as a fresh start. You're free to run things your way and have your storms but the rest of us don't have to suffer such anguish on your behalf. It's not you, it's us.

"But, Johnny, what about the problem with the flag?" you ask.

Lean in, kids, I have the answer to that too. Let's take a flyer on Manitoba...

Mmmm, just like mom used to make

2004-09-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

BRAD MILLER, 2003
Indiana Pacers center, on his team's struggles:

"It's not going to be peaches and gravy all the time.

I wanna party with you cowboy

2004-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

I'm STILL in shock from this. I always thought Rick treated his body like a temple.

LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Flamboyant funk musician Rick James had nine drugs in his system when he died suddenly in August, including cocaine, methamphetamine, valium and vicodin, according to a coroner's report Thursday.

I should imagine his bloodstream was superfreaky.

The 2004 Dick Cheney economic plan

2004-09-16T19:17:00.000-07:00

Good lord, our Vice-President touting the abysmal economy has found a source of untapped wealth yet not registering in economic indicators. Cheney has perhaps found the golden goose that will bring the American economy back to the go-go Clinton years. Dick's plan? Everyone should sell stuff on eBay.

Last week in Cincinnati, Cheney told voters that indicators miss the hundreds of thousands who make money selling on eBay. "That's a source that didn't even exist 10 years ago," the vice president said. "Four hundred thousand people make some money trading on eBay."

The American economy according to Cheney will rebound based on old Prince records, Spiderman underpants, backstage passes, and glass unicorns.

Um, Dick, maybe it's time to get back into your undisclosed location....

Freedom is on the march in Iraq

2004-09-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

ST. CLOUD, Minn. (Reuters) - President Bush said on Thursday "freedom was on the march in Iraq."

This sentiment was seconded by everyone's favorite Stars and Bars Abu Ghraib party kitten, Lynndie England who shows off her idea of freedom being on the march...

"It's way cool this freedom march stuff" said England, "I just hope I'll be out of the stockade when the big floats come by"

No, I have a better idea

2004-09-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON - There's change in store for Thomas Jefferson — on the nickel that is. He's getting his first makeover since his likeness was put on the coin in 1938.
The makers of the nation's coins, the U.S. Mint, was unveiling Thursday designs for two new nickels. It's the latest in a series of design changes for coins.

How about Johnny Action Space Punk gets to pick the finalists for the new nickel design. The US Mint will come up with something inherantly stupid and the screech monkeys in the Republican party will insist they somehow honor Ronald Reagan.
If it's new and government sponsored, the GOP wants to slap Reagan's face or name on it like he was a top tier president. How about instead we give Ronnie the tribute he REALLY deserves and stop calling it a defecit and start calling it a 'Ronnie'.

Here now are the three designs Johnny will accept your vote on:
1)
2)
3)

Vote Early, vote often

Jury duty, the new Studio 54

2004-09-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New Yorkers dreading jury duty take note: it's OK to be drunk on booze or high on pot or cocaine while doing your civic duty.

So said a New York judge on Wednesday, who refused to set aside the verdict on a retired city firefighter convicted of swiping souvenirs from Ground Zero, citing the U.S. Supreme Court to back her ruling.

Samuel Brandon, 61, found guilty in March of petty larceny for stealing personal items from the ruins of the World Trade Center, asked for a new trial after a juror told him after the verdict that he had been drinking during deliberations.

But Manhattan Supreme Court Judge Ellen Coin cited a 1987 Supreme Court decision which rejected the argument that jurors consuming alcohol, smoking marijuana, snorting cocaine and falling asleep constituted an "outside influence" on jurors.

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First off, you stole from the WTC site, moreover you're a member of the firefighters albeit retired. How proud they must have been to have you stealing things over the bodies of their fallen comrades.

Secondly, how cool is it you can have blow, liquor or combustible refreshments while deliberating.

"Your honor, the jury has requested the defendant's statement to the detective and another case of Pinwheel cookies"

Iraq NEEDS after school programs!

2004-09-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

Just look at these kids. No soccer, or football practice to go to. No shop class, no part time jobs, no NOTHING. So, as you can see, the kids do what all kids do after school with nowhere to go, they find MISCHIEF!

Concerning Hobbits and Music Downloads

2004-09-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

If the good people (tee hee hee snicker, snort) at the RIAA want to put a dent in free music downloading, they will make sure the Music Choice channels on digital cable go away. Music Choice has become a metal detector of cool, old songs you haven't heard in a while. Let's suppose you were watching/listening and the song by 999, 'Homicide' came on. You could spend HOURS looking for it legally (I'll save you the time, it's NOT on iTunes) or you could log onto Limewire and in moments have said song. Now I'm sure 999 had some bitchin' songs on the rest of that album but getting 999 albums at Tower Records isn't as easy as it used to be, like it was when the world was in black and white. Some shortsighted lawyer types might say this makes me a thief. I say it makes me a good consumer. I found it quickly, and easily. Quickly and easily are the mantra of advertisements, no? After listening to ad types all these years like you know I slavishly do, it warms my heart to know I used the art of convenience to be a good consumer. Thank you Madison Avenue!!

Are you a good consumer?
Drop us a line and tell us what makes YOU a good consumer....

Just one more reason

2004-09-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

As if we needed another reason to love, adore, ogle, lust over Catherine Zeta-Jones.

BTW, Johnny's Hollywood insider sources tell us she's looking to dump choad boy.

The poor people in Alamaba

2004-09-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

As Hurricane Ivan roars onshore destroying much in it's path, according to one web headline the good people of Alamaba are in peril:

Hurricane Ivan Blasts Alamaba, Kills 12

I sure hope the people of Alamaba are safe, wherever Alamaba is....