Okay people, we need to talk
Everyone gather around me and be quiet because we need to discuss something. Wait, everyone gather around me EXCEPT the state of Florida, Floridians, or anything to do with Florida.
You wait over there. Shoo.
Okay, we've ALL got an election coming up and we all have time in our other 49 states to put this proposal on our state ballots to ammend our constitutions
It is hereby proposed and deemed necessary that Florida be kicked out of the United States of America. You tried hard, we had some laughs but you have got to go. First off, President George W. Bush will after the latest hurricane have alotted 25 BILLION dollars in aid to Florida for just sitting there like a jackass in a hail storm and taking it. I mean, when was they last time you, Nebraska got 25 billion for anything? I see you nodding your heads. We pay into this pool and who sucks us dry every year? Florida. Wisconsin, how much of this FEMA money do you get? California's good enough to only have bad earthquakes every 10-15 years. Idaho, put that gun down and ask yourself, why does George W's BROTHER get such good service?
Which brings us to point two:
Besides hurricanes, Florida utterly screwed over a nation by not getting their voting thing together. One way then the next, one way then back. The Secretary of State Katherine Harris RAN George W's campaign from her official office. NICE ethics. Jeb has a wife who bought large quantities of clothing abroad and then tried to sneak them back duty free. His drug addled daughter whom Johnny hopes gets her act together was given more chances than Unkie George was giving black kids in Texas to be sure. This state is political hell on the rest of us.
Ah, who can forget Elian Gonzalez. The story that did so much for so many and turned local unemployed yokels into a reality television soap.
Now, think about it, I got some dawgs in Nevada who say they can saw it off Georgia and Mississippi and Alabama will just build walls. The cost of this 'relocation' project would be 3 billion less than what we're going to pay them by Thanksgiving if this keeps up.
Hey look, I have relatives in Florida too but you can still go there. It'll be like Cuba complete with it's tin horn dictator governor but you can actually come and go as you please.
Florida, you can look at it as a fresh start. You're free to run things your way and have your storms but the rest of us don't have to suffer such anguish on your behalf. It's not you, it's us.
"But, Johnny, what about the problem with the flag?" you ask.
Lean in, kids, I have the answer to that too. Let's take a flyer on Manitoba...
You wait over there. Shoo.
Okay, we've ALL got an election coming up and we all have time in our other 49 states to put this proposal on our state ballots to ammend our constitutions
It is hereby proposed and deemed necessary that Florida be kicked out of the United States of America. You tried hard, we had some laughs but you have got to go. First off, President George W. Bush will after the latest hurricane have alotted 25 BILLION dollars in aid to Florida for just sitting there like a jackass in a hail storm and taking it. I mean, when was they last time you, Nebraska got 25 billion for anything? I see you nodding your heads. We pay into this pool and who sucks us dry every year? Florida. Wisconsin, how much of this FEMA money do you get? California's good enough to only have bad earthquakes every 10-15 years. Idaho, put that gun down and ask yourself, why does George W's BROTHER get such good service?
Which brings us to point two:
Besides hurricanes, Florida utterly screwed over a nation by not getting their voting thing together. One way then the next, one way then back. The Secretary of State Katherine Harris RAN George W's campaign from her official office. NICE ethics. Jeb has a wife who bought large quantities of clothing abroad and then tried to sneak them back duty free. His drug addled daughter whom Johnny hopes gets her act together was given more chances than Unkie George was giving black kids in Texas to be sure. This state is political hell on the rest of us.
Ah, who can forget Elian Gonzalez. The story that did so much for so many and turned local unemployed yokels into a reality television soap.
Now, think about it, I got some dawgs in Nevada who say they can saw it off Georgia and Mississippi and Alabama will just build walls. The cost of this 'relocation' project would be 3 billion less than what we're going to pay them by Thanksgiving if this keeps up.
Hey look, I have relatives in Florida too but you can still go there. It'll be like Cuba complete with it's tin horn dictator governor but you can actually come and go as you please.
Florida, you can look at it as a fresh start. You're free to run things your way and have your storms but the rest of us don't have to suffer such anguish on your behalf. It's not you, it's us.
"But, Johnny, what about the problem with the flag?" you ask.
Lean in, kids, I have the answer to that too. Let's take a flyer on Manitoba...
posted by Johnny Action Space Punk at 11:25 AM
1 Comments:
Just to say we here in Michigan are constantly getting screwed by FEMA. We had a massive flood in the UP not long ago and FEMA didn't help at all. Now this year we had massive flooding in the Lansing area and FEMA had so little money to help they could only offer loans at a higher rate then what I pay on my mortgage.
Yet Florida gets money funneled into it? I'm sorry you ever thing that God is punishing you for electing Bush? Maybe this is just a warning telling you to straighten out in November or else God is going to wipe Florida off the face of the Earth. I guess either way it is win win.
Post a Comment
<< Home